April Fool's Day FIRST GENERATION STYLE!
by mangafreakfoeva
Summary: It is a certain holiday in one of Giotto's years reigning as the Vongola Primo, and every single Guardian- except Daemon Spade- doesn't know what the hell is going on. The reason? Daemon Spade has got some cruel tricks up his sleeve, along with another big surprise…


**Summary: **It is a certain holiday in one of Giotto's years reigning as the Vongola Primo, and every single Guardian- except Daemon Spade- doesn't know what the hell is going on. The reason? Daemon Spade has got some cruel tricks up his sleeve, along with another big surprise…

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

**This is a ONE-SHOT! I will not create further chapters for this. Unless people beg me to. But then again, I still may not.**

**XDXDXDXDXD**

Giotto sat in his desk chair, signing paperwork as usual. Cozart sat beside him, chattering his head off, and G., of course, sat to Giotto's right, veins busting in his head.

"So this is your new office, right? It's so COOL! Do you know that?"

"Uh, yeah, sure-"

"So you know how like how when we were young we had this stupid teacher named Mrs. Hogspit who looked like a shish kebab mixed with vomit and shoved in a pile of horse crap-"

"Uh, Cozart, I'm trying to eat my strawbe-"

"… who like beat the shit out of G. when he set fire to the fangirls' clothes with his cigarettes because they kept screaming their stupid heads off and Mrs. Hogspit was _suuuch _a freaking _feminist _that she literally kicked G. in the crotch and he like seriously _flew_ right out of the class and Alaude was like _right there _and he said 'I'll cuff you to death' or something and G. pulled out his filthy water gun filled with urine or something because a dog bit the ammo out of the real thing-"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU SHITTY SHIMON BOSS?!"

"NO, YOU SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU LOUSY RIGHT-HAND MAN!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY, YOU SON OF A-"

An explosion suddenly burst somewhere in the upper floors of the Vongola headquarters. Indigo and violet-colored flames drifted down toward the windows of Giotto's office room.

"Third floor, east wing, room number twenty-two on the left side," Giotto calculated without lifting his head. He slipped a new sheet of paper from a desk drawer and began to sign it along with a check of five hundred thousand Euros as if whatever the heck was happening was absolutely normal.

As he signed, chunks of the ceiling above crumbled down in huge clumps, crushing an antique vase, a sofa, and the 489, 372nd gun that G. had bought, all the others ruined due to… _unexplainable _situations.

Giotto continued eating his strawberries and signing forms without noticing the chaos around him. "G., you know what to do," he sighed, putting his pen down and massaging his temples.

"Yeah, yeah," G. grumbled.

He had just passed Cozart by when he sniggered and said, "Like a BOSS."

"WILL YOU FUCKING SHUT THE DAMN HELL UP, YOU USELESS PIECE OF CRAP?" G. roared and flung a punch at Cozart.

"Dodged the punch like a BOSS."

G. tried to kick him when Cozart nailed him in the balls.

"Kicked the spot like a BOSS!"

G. doubled over and groaned.

Meanwhile, Giotto sat there, Cozart's description of Mrs. Hogspit running over and over again through his brain faster and faster.

Giotto heaved all the strawberry mush from his stomach onto poor G., who crouched there, moaning even louder. "I give up," he groaned. "I don't wanna be anyone's crappy right-hand man."

"Ah… _gomenasai_… G…. I couldn't help it," Giotto apologized guiltily.

By the time both of them looked up, Cozart was gone.

**XDXDXDXDXD**

Asari Ugetsu, Knuckle, and Lampo sat miserably on a couple of stools in the living room. Why were they miserable?

They had absolutely nothing to do.

Even Ugetsu was bored. Ugestu played random tunes on his antique flute, Lampo lay sprawled on the rug snoring his throat off and drooling, and Knuckle tried to get a spider to climb on his nose. Though it kept slipping because of the bandage, but Knuckle was too stupid to realize that. Psh, he was a Sun Guardian after all. All Sun Guardians were extreme morons.

That was when Daemon Spade walked in, all high-and-mighty. "Yo, Daemon!" Ugetsu exclaimed.

"Oh, what are you EXTREMELY doing here?" Knuckle boomed, brushing the spider off his nose and flinging it out the window. So much for 'protecting the citizens'.

Lampo snorted, opened his eyes a crack, and then began choking on his drool. Really, really loudly. But everyone was too lazy to help him out and didn't give a damn to what was happening with their spoiled Lightning Guardian so they talked very loudly to be heard over the din.

"Nufufufu. Do you know what day it is today?" Daemon asked happily with his stupid perverted smile plastered on his stupid melon-headed face.

"EXTREME CANADIAN BOXING DAY!"

"Absolutely not, you sand-filled hooligan."

"Hmmm… Saint Patrick's Day?" Ugetsu asked.

Daemon choked and nearly fell on top of his scythe. "Uh… where did that come from?"

"Sleep-However-Much-You-Want-And-Let-Lampo-Sama-get-Whatever-He-Wants Day," Lampo mumbled in his sleep, finally done with his coughing fit after throwing up a lollipop he accidentally swallowed.

Daemon was pissed off. "No. It is-"

"I will cuff you to death, you melon-headed herbivore." Alaude appeared out of nowhere, shoving his silver handcuffs in Daemon's face.

"Oya, oya, you will regret this," Daemon warned with a smile. Then he cooed into the hallway, "Primo! Oh CAVALLONE PRIMO! ALAUDE'S HERE!"

Alaude immediately cringed and went red in the face as Cavallone Primo hopped into the hallway, making a smooching shape with his pink lips (everybody could TOTALLY see the lipstick) and running to him.

Alaude whipped out , like, fifteen hundred pairs of handcuffs and swung them around. Unfortunately he couldn't see where he was going and ended up falling down when Cavallone Primo fell on top of him and his lips touched Alaude's.

Alaude and Primo Cavallone stared.

And stared.

And stared and stared and stared.

Then Alaude let out a shriek (yes, a shriek) and ran out of the room flailing his handcuffs around like an idiot. One of them fell onto poor Lampo who let out another shriek, and threw a dozen hand grenades into the air. Knuckled punched at all the 'targets' shouting extremely loudly and Ugetsu sat there, laughing like a moron.

Daemon and Primo Cavallone escaped.

Eventually, the whole mansion was destroyed- Lampo flinging his hand grenades everywhere, Alaude shrieking like a nincompoop (I don't know what the heck that means but I know it's an insult O_0), Knuckle shouting 'EXTREME', Ugetsu laughing while eating sushi, G. shooting everyone with his 489, 373rd gun, and Giotto ready to murder everyone.

Amidst all the chaos, Daemon Spade stood there grinning, and 'Primo Cavallone' took off his black wig and contacts, revealing red, slick hair and a compass-shaped emblem in his red eyes. Together, they shouted, at absolutely nobody- "HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAYYYY!"

**XDXDXDXDXD**

_**Omake**_

Alaude sat in his makeshift bed in the basement, training and doing whatever when Primo Cavallone came in. "I heard your room was destroyed," he said in a concerned tone.

Alaude frowned, a dark, murderous, killing aura surrounding his figure. "For kissing me, I will cuff you to death!"

Primo Cavallone's eyes widened and he took several steps back. "What do you mean I kissed you?" _**Translation- 'Just who the damn FUCK took mine and Alaude's kiss away?'**_

__Alaude snarled. "Don't try to deny it, you clumsy retarded fool."

And ever since that day, the poor (real) Cavallone Primo had been plotting his revenge against Cozart, which led him to join Daemon Spade which had nearly brought down the Vongola Famiglia.

**THE END!**

**XDXDXDXDXD**

**All right, this was the worst fic I have ever written! Tons of failed humor, lame writing style… yada yada yada. Well, for those who have been faithfully reading 'A Bird's Betrayal' **and got mad at me for taking so damn long to update (I didn't even publish it yet O_0), I hope this little fun fic satisfies you! And PLEASE check my profile! Absolutely needed to understand my schedule!

**For those who're new to me and my writing… **please don't get the wrong impression of my writing style! This was mainly written for those who have read that one story of mine, and I'm not that good at writing pure humor stories like this. So please try to check my story out and **review! I really need my daily supply of reviews!**


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